I wonder if Effie would lie awake at night thinking about what would have happened if she had only moved her hand slightly to the left or right when picking a name
Pecans look like little vaginas
the only vaginas some boys will ever get to eat
can i have you
just kidding you don’t have a choice get in the trunk
Rereading Deathly Hallows, and you know what’s really getting to me? The statue, and the sign outside Godric’s Hollow. The fact that what James and Lily did - they were so famous, they were in books, they had a monument. The sign outside the house says it’s left in its…
one time I overslept and my mom came into my room to wake me up and said “you had better get up or else you’ll be rushing”. I wanted to say “if I’m rushing then so be it” but since I was still half asleep my mind changed “rushing” to “Russian”, I rolled over and said “if I’m Russian, soviet” and to this day it’s the best joke I’ve ever made
STORY IDEA: YOUR DOOR BELL RINGS AND ITS A PERSON FROM AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE “I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE MY FAVORITE BOOK CHARACTER AND I KNOW HOW IT ENDS AND I WANNA CHANGE IT”
WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO ME
Why has nobody ever gifted me any of these? Then I might actually have been interested!
I need feminism because a senator actually referred to a pregnant woman as a ‘host’.
Not a woman. Not a mother. A ‘host’.
You know what a host is?
It’s the victim of a parasite.
So this pro-life dude just made an argument against his own agenda.
And also, a host?
Fuck that shit.
do you ever meet someone and you’re like wow I could write a book about you
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